Then, as I took some writing classes, read some blogs and attended some writing conferences - my word count went down to 500 words a day or less. Mostly less.
The more I learned the better writer I became, but that's when the fear set in. I learned the difference between bad writing and good writing and the fear of bad writing paralyzed me.
I joined a blog called One Page A Day with a few writers where we pledge to write...you guessed it - one page a day. I stuck to that for a long time and then...I stopped writing.
I haven't written much of anything this whole summer. Fear and laziness and something ugly has gripped me and I just can't bring myself to write. I want to change that though. I'm trying to break out of whatever the nasty thing is that has me caught in its claws. I want to lose my fear, well maybe not lose it...maybe just embrace or ignore the fear and write.
I want to enter a short story contest, hosted by The Literary Lab called Variations on a Theme. The short story can be no longer than 3000 words. I know what you're thinking. I know you're thinking that 3000 words is nothing. Mentally, I know that you're right. Emotionally? It feels like a million. One sentence a day is all I can manage right now. I'm hoping that will change, but as of Friday I have written exactly four sentences. Oh, and I have a title.
That's progress isn't it. One sentence is better than nothing. The deadline for this contest is December 31st. Math isn't my thing, so maybe one of you can tell me if writing one sentence a day is going to be enough to meet that deadline.
So, how is you're writing going? Does fear ever stop you?
Don't forget to check out The Literary Lab Contest:
Ohhhh! Good luck with the contest! I've had one of those summers too, but hopefully I'm breaking out of it!
ReplyDeleteOne author says she turns off her screen and types random words when her inner editor stops her from being able to produce anything. Eventually those random words start becoming less random and maybe they become something worth editing later. Or maybe it's just a lot of gobbledy-gook. That's ok if it gets you going.
ReplyDeleteThe piece of writing advice that helps me most is giving myself permission to write a lot of unusable crap in my first draft and tell yourself you'll burn it later so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Because even if you only get a word or a phrase out of it, it's better than nothing. I also like stream of conscious if I'm really stuck. One page a day is easy if you don't care what you're writing.
You can do it, Mary! Do it for yourself, not the contest, and I'll be you come up with a good story anyway.
Oh, this makes me so excited! We're starting to worry that nobody will enter, but we did get our first entry yesterday and our moderator put it up on our reader blog to review. I won't know yours is yours until after we've chosen winners, but I look forward to reading it all the same! Good luck! Any goal is better than goal, even one word a day. :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I consider a title the hardest part sometimes. :)
I think it is a great thing to enter and a great goal! And, you know how I feel about your writing! I wish that I was the writer you are--although it is YOU that has to believe in yourself. It is OKAY to fail and be afraid (ummm...how many times did you tell me to REWRITE the watcher?) If you don't fail, you don't learn. As for overcoming your fear, you have to take it one day at a time. Day by day. Step by step. I'm looking forward to hearing about your story! Go, Mary!
ReplyDeleteYou'll do great! I'm excited for you. Don't let fear stop you from anything... We miss you guys!
ReplyDeleteI have post-it notes stuck all over my wall to help me break through fear. I struggle with it every day, but have developed little mantras to inspire myself and to push me forward, past the fear into a place of creative freedom. One of these mantras is "Trust Your Instincts". I had to put this up after attending several writing workshops and reading several blogs about "how to write". Like you, I learned the difference between good writing and bad writing and it terrified me. And for a while it was very hard for me to write. Then I realized the only way I could be happy writing, is if I wrote with my gut. Learn the rules, but don't let them box you in.
ReplyDeleteI think you're off to a good start, Mary. All you can do is start small and keep writing. One sentence a day builds to one paragraph builds to one page builds to one story. Keep it up and you'll be done in no time!
that is huge progress ... hooray for those goals that keep us moving forward. It's a hard thing we do, putting our hearts on a page. Sometimes it flows and sometimes we just can't bring ourselves to do it. Yep, I get that.
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